On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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