if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
