I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
