i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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