Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
