Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
