im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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