areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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