what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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