Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
