don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
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