My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize