I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You need a sexual gate keeper
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
