Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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