To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
