thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
