I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
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i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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