there's paper in my vomit.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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