when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize