The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
