I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
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