You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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