so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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