Where did you get a picture of my penis
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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