Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
