i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize
