The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
