dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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