I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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