with your own penis?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
