so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
