before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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