So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
