Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
ttyl tear gas
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
