Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
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He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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