We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
How's work?
Spinning.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
