We named our party play list daddy issues
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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