Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She told me I should be a condom model.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
