Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?