It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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