I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
i think im in europe. pls send help
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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