Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
