My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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