I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
