she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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