Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
