Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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