Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL. http://tfl.nu/l6ak
  Replies (1) Good night (1131) Bad night (1195)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster. http://tfl.nu/5per
  Replies (16) Good night (729) Bad night (2793)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard. http://tfl.nu/iuc0
  Replies (20) Good night (4895) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008. http://tfl.nu/vkb0
  Replies (9) Good night (4817) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (772): Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish http://tfl.nu/fyel
  Replies (9) Good night (2365) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon. http://tfl.nu/q1re
  Replies (4) Good night (1117) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (936): I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining. http://tfl.nu/kdvr
  Replies (2) Good night (1491) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help. http://tfl.nu/brln
  Replies (13) Good night (542) Bad night (2099)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  Are you really alive right now?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath. (1-612): Are you really alive right now? http://tfl.nu/b3cy
  Replies (5) Good night (1759) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  He could stay over, if you'd just ask.

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): He could stay over, if you'd just ask. (912): Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not" http://tfl.nu/x11w
  Replies (11) Good night (1299) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation. http://tfl.nu/t4hm
  Replies (4) Good night (1282) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone. http://tfl.nu/9qu8
  Replies (3) Good night (350) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Maybe

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): Bring a bathing suit and your good liver. (1-843): My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice? (843): Maybe http://tfl.nu/53dg
  Replies (4) Good night (1131) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache. http://tfl.nu/ndot
  Replies (1) Good night (402) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol http://tfl.nu/8ddh
  Replies (1) Good night (483) Bad night (197)

Randomize