Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.

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  (978): i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night. http://tfl.nu/0hsp
  Replies (15) Good night (4194) Bad night (582)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic

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  (561): you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic http://tfl.nu/jttf
  Replies (44) Good night (8542) Bad night (966)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!

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  (301): My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW! http://tfl.nu/gdwn
  Replies (6) Good night (747) Bad night (5325)
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  (516): View more from New York

  my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall

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  (516): my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall http://tfl.nu/7d2k
  Replies (18) Good night (1691) Bad night (4199)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks

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  (262): The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks http://tfl.nu/b2le
  Replies (25) Good night (6377) Bad night (983)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk

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  (606): He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk http://tfl.nu/slqk
  Replies (57) Good night (799) Bad night (14728)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you

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  (414): There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you http://tfl.nu/ku1m
  Replies (19) Good night (4626) Bad night (1079)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.

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  (832): I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella. http://tfl.nu/jiup
  Replies (35) Good night (3061) Bad night (1514)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  not the best booty call

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  did she squirt?

  (217): View more from Illinois

  only if tears count

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  (217): not the best booty call (1-217): did she squirt? (217): only if tears count http://tfl.nu/kmd7
  Replies (7) Good night (756) Bad night (3209)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"

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  (201): After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph" http://tfl.nu/ju46
  Replies (31) Good night (2661) Bad night (1752)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.

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  (803): could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning. http://tfl.nu/cs20
  Replies (2) Good night (1178) Bad night (556)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."

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  (208): It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate." (1-208): My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time." http://tfl.nu/9ozo
  Replies (3) Good night (1076) Bad night (485)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..

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  (815): Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won.. http://tfl.nu/wk4z
  Replies (6) Good night (1383) Bad night (365)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina

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  (204): That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina http://tfl.nu/e6cy
  Replies (6) Good night (841) Bad night (300)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.

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  (330): He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success. (216): Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail. http://tfl.nu/s5vp
  Replies (5) Good night (692) Bad night (188)

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