Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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