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oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
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