last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
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So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
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Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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