I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
