It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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