my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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