I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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