if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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