I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize